Last year, I went to Rajasthan for a wedding and there I met a little girl named Alana.

Out of all the guests, I connected the most with Alana. She was a non-stop chatterbox and in her company, the boring marriage rituals became fun. And, before I could comprehend it was the last day of the wedding.

We all gathered for the final ritual— the Bidaai of the bride.

Alana and I were standing in a corner looking at the bride hug everyone and say goodbye through her tears.

For the first time in the last 4 days, I noticed that Alana was silent for more than 5 minutes. There was an unexplainable expression on her face.

She asked me, “Did you also cry like this in your Bidaai?” I said, “No, I got married in the court so no Bidaai for me.”

Just then a lady standing behind us said, “Alana see, one day even you will have to go this way.”

Alana, “No, I will never go.”

Lady, “Every woman has to go.”

Alana, “But I won’t go. I will hang myself and die but I will never leave my parents.”

I said, “Alana! Shhh, don’t say that. Everyone doesn’t have to go. Look at me — I studied hard, started earning money, and now I can make my own decisions. I didn’t leave my parents, and you won’t have to either.”

Alana nodded with a Yes, but I felt extremely helpless because I knew Alana’s family would never allow her to make her own decisions.

But imagine how scared Alana might have felt about the idea of leaving her parents, to the point where she felt that death would be better.

It is truly disturbing that while change is the only constant in life, why are these age-old rituals not changing? Why should a girl, who has studied in a co-ed school, excelled academically, and earns just as much as her partner, be expected to leave her home?

Why can’t we as a society create women-friendly rituals that celebrate equality and partnership in marriage?

But where and how to start from? Well, it has to begin with women. When more women will break free from these old traditions, our society will transform, and kids like Alana will enjoy their childhood rather than thinking about death.

When young girls will see women who have successfully made their own choices, it will inspire and reassure them that it’s possible to live life on their own terms.

So, I want to request all the wonderful women out there to stand up for themselves, challenge outdated norms, and help create a better future for everyone.

I truly hope that by the time Alana gets married, we will have made these changes a reality. Whether she has to go and stay at her husband’s place can be secondary, but at least she should get the freedom to make her own decisions with zero judgments.

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